Because You Are El Jefe

Al MacDiarmid

As the boot ensign, I always drew the first watch upon return to port. It was a Friday afternoon, with people coming and going, checking out on leave, going on liberty or shore leave, people reporting aboard, etc., a typical first day in port on a mooring in San Diego Bay. An E2 handed me his orders. I signed him in, grabbed my messenger and told him to get him a bunk up forward, get him a locker, show him where the mess hall and the head were and come back. After a while the new man showed up with the messenger belt on. I asked the chief of the watch what was going on, this new kid didn't even know the pointy from the blunt end yet. The chief said we were short handed, that it was his call and that it would be OK. I told the chief I sure hoped so, because if not he was going to be the messenger.

A bit later I asked my new messenger to go to the wardroom and request the presence on the quarterdeck of Mr. X. The kid just stared at me. I asked him if he knew where the wardroom was? He just stared at me. He then got a panicked look in his eyes and pulled what looked like a comic book out of his rear pocket and started looking through it. I took it away from him and it was an English-Spanish dictionary. I switched to Spanish. I asked him where he was born. New Mexico. I asked how he got through boot camp without any English. He said, "They go to chow, I go to chow, they do laundry, I do laundry, they go to the bathroom, I go to the bathroom."

My primary responsibility on the USS Stoddard was as the First Lieutenant. I had most of the Chicanos and had not let on that I knew a little Spanish. One of my men had called me a "Pinche Cabrón" several times. I had lost his liberty card over the side several times. He had not gotten the correlation yet.

I told the Chief he was now the messenger and that his first duty was to go and get my wayward man, who I knew to be aboard as his present liberty card was soaking at the bottom of the bay as he had called me a pinche cabrón only that morning. He arrived. I told him the new messenger (now relieved by the Chief of the Watch, who was wearing both belts) didn't speak any English. Some very rapid Spanish flew back and forth of which I missed most. I did get my name and an answer from the new guy, translated, "Oh, yes, he speaks Spanish very well!". Revelation. I assigned the new guy to the Chicano (also an E2).

I said, "You chip paint, he chips paint, you eat, he eats, you go on liberty, he goes on liberty until he knows English."

He said, "Why me?" and I said, "Because you are El Jefe". He was the natural leader of the Chicanos. He turned out to be one of my better men, once he understood the relationship between calling his division officer names and the "accidental" loss of his liberty card, which took a couple of days to replace.